It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I want to be your penis for a week.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?