Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???

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  (818): Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe??? http://tfl.nu/qjrf
  Replies (3) Good night (2371) Bad night (868)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Yes. For all mankind please do.

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  (512): The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her? (319): Yes. For all mankind please do. http://tfl.nu/4jly
  Replies (49) Good night (4957) Bad night (862)
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  (914): View more from New York

  How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?

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  (914): How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German? http://tfl.nu/tyh7
  Replies (27) Good night (1227) Bad night (5411)
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  (718): View more from New York

  what happened last night?

  (917): View more from New York City

  u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style

  (718): View more from New York

  that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left

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  (718): what happened last night? (917): u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style (718): that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left http://tfl.nu/i3a9
  Replies (39) Good night (14540) Bad night (1288)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.

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  (251): She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy. http://tfl.nu/vond
  Replies (15) Good night (6572) Bad night (800)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.

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  (715): he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut. http://tfl.nu/y3au
  Replies (13) Good night (4755) Bad night (1135)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more

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  (919): Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more http://tfl.nu/wtn6
  Replies (18) Good night (1570) Bad night (5106)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.

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  (828): Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico. http://tfl.nu/ifni
  Replies (32) Good night (6473) Bad night (1765)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.

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  (248): He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me. http://tfl.nu/d9on
  Replies (18) Good night (4693) Bad night (1284)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van

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  (817): He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van http://tfl.nu/z2ov
  Replies (2) Good night (2216) Bad night (922)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.

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  (248): Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/xu6p
  Replies (6) Good night (2152) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick

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  (240): it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick http://tfl.nu/lcrn
  Replies (5) Good night (1251) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's hard to explain...

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  (330): We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar. (330): It's hard to explain... http://tfl.nu/5wi2
  Replies (6) Good night (747) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"

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  (774): Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be" http://tfl.nu/8qrq
  Replies (0) Good night (643) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??

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  (720): Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room?? http://tfl.nu/pgxo
  Replies (0) Good night (514) Bad night (318)

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