well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"