So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
