Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
