got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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