just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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