Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
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