Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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