i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
