OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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