she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
