I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
