think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
