The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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