we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
FUCK WHALES
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
