I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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