Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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