she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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