I intend to get homeless drunk
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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