the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Did I show you my penis last night?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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