booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Randomize
