Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
