And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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