Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
