3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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