YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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