no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
