Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
