A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
