Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
