he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
