We're facebook friends in real life
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
