forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize