yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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