At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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