: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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