I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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