Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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