I hate your face
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My dick has a subreddit
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
