Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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