if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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