In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
