Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
