It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
