i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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