I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
