she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
