I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
