How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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