i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
