If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize