dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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