I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
