I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
