Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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