Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
