he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
