Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
