I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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